
---
Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned
by Hart Hanson, all rights reserved. This transcript is not authorized or
endorsed by Hart Hanson or Fox.
---
TEASER
[EXT: CITY. Music plays over images of
Christmas scenes – a sleigh-and-reindeer display, a man taking donations
for the Salvation Army, a snowman decoration, a lifesize toy soldier,
a department store with a massive wreath on the front, a large Christmas
tree on display.]
[MUSIC: “Here Comes Santa Claus”.]
[INT: BANK. People are in line for tellers.
At the head of the line is a man dressed as Santa Claus (played by Matt
McTighe).]
TELLER [cheerfully]: Hey Santa. How’re
you doing? Deposit or withdrawal?
[SANTA hands a note to the TELLER (played
by J. J. Boone). It says something like GIVE ME ALL THE
MONEY.]
TELLER: Is this some sort of joke?
[SANTA pulls his shirt open, revealing
a bomb strapped to him.]
SANTA: Give me all of your money. Now.
[TELLER quickly hands money to SANTA,
who puts it into his red sack. SANTA looks around.]
SANTA [indicating other tellers]: The
other ones too. Hurry up.
[As the TELLERS do as he says, people
behind SANTA in the line get suspicious and impatient.]
MAN: Something’s going on over there.
OTHER MAN: What do you mean?
MAN: Security!
SANTA [turning to face other customers]:
I HAVE A BOMB!
[People begin to shriek.]
SANTA: Everyone get down! [to TELLER]
Put the money in the bag. Quick.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: BRENNAN’S APARTMENT. MAX is dragging
over a Christmas tree and Brennan is watching him.]
MAX: It’s a beauty, isn’t it? I got
the, uh… I got the employee’s discount; good tips too. Shall I get
some tinsel?
BRENNAN [disinterested]: Well, you can
do whatever you want. It’s your Christmas tree.
MAX: Well, it’s ours, honey, as in you and me.
BRENNAN: Dad, I’m-I’m going to do volunteer work in El Salvador.
MAX: Well… that means I’m gonna be
alone for Christmas.
BRENNAN: Well, wha-what about Russ and
the girls?
MAX [sitting down]: Your brother is going
to Orlando to spend the holidays with his in-laws, and I will be alone,
and it’ll be pitiful.
BRENNAN: Well, if I stay, then there’ll
be two of us alone, which is twice as pitiful.
MAX [sarcastically]: Well, that’s interesting
math. [pause] What if I can get someone else to share Christmas with
us? Now, that would make it a real Christmas, right?
BRENNAN: Dad, some reformed criminal
pal of yours won’t make a real Christmas.
MAX: I’m talking family, a blood relative;
an aunt or one of your cousins from Minnesota.
BRENNAN: You have contact with these
people?
MAX: We’re Myspace buddies. Come on,
honey, please?
BRENNAN: Well, why do people hate to
spend Christmas alone?
MAX: 'Cause it means nobody loves them.
[CUT.]
-
[EXT: STREET. BOOTH is rubbing his hands
together for warmth as he walks to his car.]
DISPATCH [from radio inside car]: Code
39, Code 39, bank robbery in progress. Capital Mutual Bank, corner of
12th and U Street. Suspect dressed as Santa. Urgent help needed.
BOOTH [now inside car, to radio]: Yes,
Agent Booth, 22705. I'm two blocks from Capital Mutual Bank. ETA within
a minute.
[INT: BANK. SANTA has money in a bag
and is leaving the bank.]
SANTA: All of you... stay down, you hear me? Stay down... and everybody
goes home for Christmas.
[EXT: STREET OUTSIDE BANK. BOOTH exits
car and aims gun at Santa.]
BOOTH: Everybody back. You! Santa! Move
into the road. Now!
SANTA [moving to street]: Don't do this.
Just walk away.
BOOTH: On your knees. On your knees!
FBI, man. Do it now!
SANTA: I just answered the call.
[There are some crackles from the bomb,
the word “BURN!” and then an enormous EXPLOSION. A giant ball of
fire erupts from SANTA. Debris in all directions. A man gets thrown
back onto a taxi from the force. A woman ducks behind the taxi. BOOTH
lands in front of his car. A chunk of flaming SANTA drops by the taxi.
After the explosion, money floats everywhere and the bank’s windows
break. Booth looks around in shock.]
[CUT.]
-
[EXT: STREET OUTSIDE BANK. We return
to the scene a short time later. Emergency workers everywhere. There
is a siren in the background and the Bomb Squad is combing the area.
[PARAMEDICS load the CABDRIVER into the
back of an ambulance.]
PARAMEDIC: Cabdriver is stabilized.
[FBI people take photos; the Bomb Squad
continues searching for evidence. CAM and BRENNAN stand next to BOOTH
by his SUV. CAM is performing medical checks on BOOTH.]
BOOTH [impatient]: Can we just hurry
this up? 'Cause I have a witness over there.
BRENNAN: Well, are you sure you didn't
throw out your back?
BOOTH: No, I didn't; I'm fine.
CAM [shining penlight in Booth’s eyes]: Okay, do you
have a medical degree? I don't think so. Okay, your pupillary response is
fine.
BOOTH: Okay, well, there you go. I'm
gonna go talk to my witness now. Thank you.
[A PARAMEDIC is sitting next to the WITNESS.
The witness is the woman who got thrown behind the cab during the explosion.
She is covered in splatter and her hands are torn and burned. She looks
shocked.]
BOOTH [to paramedic sitting with witness]:
Got ‘im.
[The PARAMEDIC leaves and BOOTH sits
next to the WITNESS. BRENNAN also arrives and squats in front of the
WITNESS to examine the evidence – human remains – coating the WITNESS.
This is “The Goop on the Girl”. The WITNESS is GEORGIA HARTMEYER
(played by Melinda Page Hamilton) and hereafter referred to as GEORGIA.]
BOOTH: Hi. I'm, uh, Special Agent Seeley
Booth. Are you okay, Miss, uh...?
GEORGIA: Hartmeyer. Georgia Hartmeyer,
and no, I'm not okay. [tearfully] I'm covered in...
BRENNAN: Human remains. The bomber's
bones became shrapnel.
GEORGIA: Oh, my God, I got to get out
of here.
BOOTH: Listen, we just want to ask you
a couple questions.
CAM [arriving behind Georgia]: We have
to bag her and take her to the lab.
BOOTH [to CAM]: Right now?
CAM: Yeah.
BOOTH: I know this is really hard and
you're freaked out, but what you have on there is evidence.
CAM [comfortingly]: It's no big deal. I'm just gonna put this cap over
your hair and bag your hands.
BOOTH: And I'm gonna meet you back at
the lab, and I'm gonna ask you a couple questions, and then I'm gonna
take you home. Okay?
GEORGIA [as Cam is putting a cap over
Georgia’s head]: All right, I guess, if I have to.
[BOOTH leaves and crosses to where HODGINS
is squatting on the ground, studying bomb fragments.]
BOOTH [standing next to HODGINS]: Hey,
oh, what do you got?
HODGINS [excitedly]: Recovering bomb
fragments... hey, check this out. Explosives unit guys loaned me these
magnetized gloves. [Holds up gloves with metal sticking to them and
laughs delightedly] Oh, these are so going on my Christmas list.
BOOTH [pointing]: That stuff there, is
that from the bomb, or is that from Santa?
HODGINS: Bomb. Oily pudding residue indicates
a homemade emulsion bomb.
[BOOTH sighs and rubs his neck.]
HODGINS: Man, you sure you're okay?
BOOTH: Fine. 'Kay?
BRENNAN [arriving behind him]: He says
he's fine, but that may just be a function of shock.
BOOTH [leaving]: I'm fine. You know what,
I'm gonna go home, grab a shower and get cleaned up.
BRENNAN: No, Booth!
BOOTH [slightly annoyed]: I am FINE...
will you just stop worrying about me, Bones?
BRENNAN [pointing to Booth’s back]:
Spinous process!
BOOTH [trying to see his own back]: What?
Where?
HODGINS: Yes, indeed, that is a definite
chunk of Santa.
BRENNAN [over shoulder]: We're gonna
need some bags, Cam.
BOOTH: No. No, no.
BRENNAN: I'm sorry, Booth, but you're
evidence now.
-
[CUT to MAIN TITLE THEME and CREDITS]
-
[INT: JEFFERSONIAN. BOOTH and BRENNAN
are in the BONE ROOM. BOOTH is sitting on a gurney and BRENNAN is behind
him, picking remains off the back of his jacket with tweezers throughout
the conversation.]
BOOTH: Did you hear anything back on
that cabdriver?
BRENNAN: No, but Cam is in touch with
the hospital. [Setting last particles into a dish] Okay. I have to remove
your clothing now.
[BRENNAN reaches to the front of BOOTH’s
jacket and begins to remove it.]
BOOTH [surprised]: What? Why?
BRENNAN: Well, there may be particulates.
BOOTH [echoing]: Particulates.
BRENNAN: Evidence for Hodgins, and flesh
for Cam.
[BRENNAN sets jacket aside and walks
to stand in front of BOOTH.]
BOOTH [thoughtful]: You know, the bomber
said something about answering "the call." What do you think
that means?
BRENNAN [loosening his tie. BOOTH sits
up straighter and looks uncomfortable]: Many terrorists feel they're
acting upon divine instruction.
BOOTH: I don't think he was a terrorist;
I just think he was a bank robber.
Brennan [lifting BOOTH’s tie over his
head]: There's spatter on the back of your collar.
BOOTH: Spatter?
BRENNAN [unbuttoning his shirt]: Okay.
BOOTH: I can take my own shirt off...
[He lifts his hands to help and BRENNAN
swats them away.]
BRENNAN: No, don't. You'll compromise
the evidence.
BOOTH [looking closely at her]: ...Right.
BRENNAN [uncertainly, continuing to unbutton
Booth’s shirt]: I'm... having Christmas dinner at my place this year
with my dad. Considering you've been shunted aside by your own family,
I'd... like to invite you.
BOOTH: That's a sweet invitation.
BRENNAN [sliding shirt off his shoulders
and moving behind him]: So, will you come?
BOOTH [slowly]: I... don't know. I was
thinking about going up to Quebec to see Parker. I really don't care
what Rebecca thinks.
BRENNAN: Well, if you do that, won't
she retaliate by insisting upon coming to all your special times with
Parker?
BOOTH: Yeah.
BRENNAN [admiringly]: You have a perfect
acromion. [Booth looks pleased] Stand up.
BOOTH: Okay.
BRENNAN: Off the table.
[BRENNAN kneels in front of BOOTH and
reaches for his belt.]
BOOTH: Whoa. What... what, is there stuff
on my pants?
BRENNAN: Yeah. Vascular tissue on your
Cocky belt buckle.
[Brennan loosens his belt and removes
it.]
BOOTH: Oh, right. Slides right off, and,
uh, we're done.
BRENNAN: No.
BOOTH: Huh?
BRENNAN: I have to remove your pants.
BOOTH [as Brennan unbuttons his pants]:
All right, you know, I'm just gonna start reciting some saints, you
know. [Quietly to himself as Brennan lowers his pants] St. Joseph, St.
Peter, St. Paul, St. John...
[BRENNAN slides his pants down BOOTH’s
legs. He is wearing blue and white plaid boxers.]
[Suddenly the door opens and BRENNAN
inhales quickly. CAM is standing in the doorway.]
CAM [humorously]: Anyone for mistletoe?
BRENNAN: I-I'm recovering evidence.
BOOTH: Just evidence, that's all.
CAM [smiling, unconvinced]: Interesting.
BOOTH [stepping out of pants]: Listen,
uh, Bones, I really got to go question the other eyewitness, so are
we done here?
BRENNAN: No, you can sit.
CAM [pointing]: There's something in
your hair.
BOOTH [reaching to touch it]: Where?
BRENNAN: Oh. [removing his hands] Don't
touch.
BOOTH: What?
BRENNAN [reaching for forensic scissors]:
Organic residue... I'll cut it out.
BOOTH [alarmed]: What do you mean, cut
it out? No! No scissors. Not the hair.
[He pushes her hands – and the scissors
– away.]
CAM: Tox results show that our bomber
had propranolol in his bloodstream. It's a beta-blocker popular with
performers, soldiers… and suicide bombers.
BOOTH [as Brennan fiddles with his hair]:
Yeah, snipers use that to calm their nerves.
CAM: Also, Hodgins swabbed this.
[She holds out a dish containing a charred,
unidentifiable body part.]
CAM: Found high concentrations of limonene.
It's a citrus fruit derivative.
BOOTH: Oh. What is that, a nostril?
CAM: Yup. And I have no idea how the
limonene got there. Unless the guy was snorting orange Kool-Aid.
BOOTH: Right. Listen, Bones, I really
got to get going to question this other eyewitness. Will you just...
Ow!
[CAM rolls her eyes and exits. Cut to
lab hallways where ANGELA is conferring with someone. BRENNAN is wheeling
BOOTH on a table usually used for human remains. He is wearing only
boxers and socks and looking uncomfortable.]
ANGELA [looking over amusedly]: Uh, are
we doing experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd like to help.
BOOTH [sarcastically]: Make fun of the
naked guy... knock yourself out.
[Cut to lab platform. DAISY is examining
GEORGIA, who is sitting on a gurney. GEORGIA is wearing a cream-colored
hospital-type gown and looking shell-shocked. There are paper bags over
her hands and goop still in her hair.]
DAISY [examining Georgia’s hair]: I
think we got everything. [pause] Oh. Nope. [excitedly] Mandible fragment!
GEORGIA [disturbed]: Just get it all
out!
[Brennan pushes Booth’s table opposite
Georgia.]
BOOTH: Okay, there you go...
[Daisy looks at Booth and is impressed
by his physique.]
DAISY: Oh, Agent Booth, you look... Wow.
BOOTH: How are you?
DAISY: Finished with the hair; moving
on to the hands. And thank you for asking, especially given the difficult
morning you've had.
[BRENNAN stands behind BOOTH with tweezers
to remove particles from his hair.]
BRENNAN: He was speaking to Ms. Hartmeyer.
DAISY [slightly embarrassed]: Oh. I'm
not used to having evidence that talks, so it's a little disconcerting.
I'll just get back to work.
BOOTH: Mm-hmm.
[DAISY goes back to recovering evidence
from GEORGIA as BOOTH conducts a makeshift interview.]
GEORGIA: How much longer do I have to
stay here?
BOOTH: Just a couple more questions.
Do you remember how long you were standing outside the bank?
GEORGIA: I-I'm not sure... I was waiting
for the bus.
BOOTH: Do you remember seeing Santa go
into the bank? [Brennan tugs on his hair] Ow!
BRENNAN: Sorry. It's being stubborn.
GEORGIA: All I know is, I was minding
my own business, and this guy just blew up in front of me.
DAISY [examining Georgia’s hand]: Dr.
Brennan, look at these white fragments in the nail bed.
BRENNAN [studying hand]: Most likely
dental pulp.
DAISY [to Georgia, cheerfully]: Santa
teeth!
GEORGIA: Oh, geez.
BRENNAN: Harvest the nail.
DAISY: Just a quick clip.
[HODGINS arrives on platform carrying
a clipboard.]
HODGINS: Hey, Booth?
BOOTH: Yeah?
HODGINS: Think I got something here.
BOOTH [sarcastically]: Oh, great, join
the party.
HODGINS [staring at Booth]: Dude. Where's
your chest hair?
BOOTH: I'm highly evolved.
BRENNAN: His pubic extension is entirely
within normal—
BOOTH: Enough. Okay, so what do you got?
HODGINS [handing over clipboard]: I'm
cataloguing bomb components so we can run it through EXIS, the Explosive
Incidents System. Bomb makers’ signatures are as unique as handwriting.
[He removes a packet from his pocket.] We found this computer chip that
sets frequency on a two-way radio, which means this bomb was command-initiated,
triggered via electronic signal from the two-way.
BOOTH: Right, that would explain the
crackle I heard right before the bomb went off, and there was this voice...
HODGINS: You know, if Santa had a partner,
he was probably monitoring that frequency.
BOOTH: He hears me say "FBI",
he panics, and he blows up good old St. Nick, but there's no way to
trace it back to him.
[BRENNAN finishes with BOOTH’s hair
and supplies him with a blue lab coat. BOOTH shrugs into coat as he
stands.]
HODGINS: Well, except for that computer
chip. The radio was set to 27.4 megahertz.
BOOTH: You guys have a scanner around
here?
[CUT.]
-
[INT: Angela’s office. BOOTH and ANGELA
are standing around a radio which is making crackly noises as BOOTH
fiddles with it.]
ANGELA: So, this is the first time I
have ever borrowed anything from the Eisenhower Collection.
BOOTH: I'm just gonna tune in here to
27.4.
[We hear some crackles and then an angry voice broadcasting. This is OWEN THIEL
(played by Dorian Missick) and hereafter
referred to as OWEN.]
OWEN: ...their pockets. No more! Bring
down the tools of capitalist greed. Burn them, like they burned us...
BOOTH: "Burn." That's him.
I heard him say that.
BRENNAN [arriving in doorway and holding
up Booth’s COCKY belt buckle.]: Hey. We expedited tissue removal.
BOOTH: Great, thanks.
BOOTH [into phone]: Hey, listen, this
is Booth. I need an FCC mobile scanner unit now. Great. Thanks.
BRENNAN: You want to search for the source
of this transmission?
BOOTH: It could be the guy who set off
the bomb.
[BOOTH leaves office and BRENNAN follows
him. He gets to the doorway and realizes he is wearing only a lab coat,
boxers and socks.]
BOOTH: Okay, pants, pants, I need pants.
Where are my pants?
[CUT.]
-
[BOOTH, BRENNAN and an FBI AGENT are
in the MOBILE UNIT and driving through the city. They are listening
to OWEN’s broadcast.]
OWEN [on radio]: We're not one voice,
we're thousands of voices. Democracy has been corrupted by the greed
of big business. Burn it to the ground…
[Radio continues in background as BOOTH
and BRENNAN talk.]
BRENNAN: If he's referring to lobbyists,
then he's actually correct.
BOOTH: You agree with this clown? And
what about blowing up your partner, okay? Because it sounds like this
creep was, uh, planning on detonating Santa right from the start.
BRENNAN: Well, that would explain the
propranolol.
BOOTH: Who blows up Christmas? Who does
that, Bones?
OWEN [on radio]: Hear my call. Get off
your ass and do something. Get up off your ass and…
BRENNAN: Do you think that's what the
victim meant about answering "the call"?
BOOTH: Sure as hell sounds like that.
[to driver] Take the next right, will you?
[CUT.]
-
[INT: BONE ROOM. DAISY is modeling bone
fragments over a blue man-made skull model as SWEETS enters.]
DAISY: Lancelot! Does it look like the
frontal near the sinus to you?
SWEETS: Uh, I have no idea.
DAISY: Seems appropriately spongy.
SWEETS: Look, I know you're busy, but
I'm in a pickle, Daisy. This is our first Christmas together. And, though
I've avoided the holidays ever since my parents have been gone, I feel
like I shouldn't put a damper on your holiday zest.
DAISY: Oh, I'm zestless.
SWEETS: You are?
DAISY: I see no point in celebrating
Jesus' birth in December when he was actually born in March.
SWEETS: No kidding.
DAISY: It'd be like celebrating the Fourth
of July in April – ridiculous.
SWEETS: So, what do we do December 25th?
DAISY: Would it be wrong to stay in bed
all day and have sex?
CAM [entering]: Yes, it would. And what
is with everybody today?
SWEETS: We were just discussing holiday
plans.
CAM: Oh. Did Dr. Brennan ask you about
Christmas dinner?
DAISY: She did. I said it wouldn't be
a Christmas dinner unless it occurred in March.
CAM: Interesting. Clear off, Sweets.
We have to ID our Christmas-in-December bomber.
DAISY: Bye, Lancelot. Colon, end bracket,
colon, capital D!
SWEETS [making hand gestures to indicate]:
Semicolon, end parentheses, "less than" sign, numeral three.
DAISY: Colon, capital "P."
CAM: Oh, dear God. I'm going to yak.
[SWEETS exits.]
DAISY: This isn't skull. It's manubrium.
CAM: Seems to be some kind of burn on
the interior surface. Get that to Hodgins.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: MOBILE UNIT. BOOTH and BRENNAN
are studying a computer showing a map of the area.]
BRENNAN: Just up ahead.
BOOTH: That's it. Right there. Pull over.
BRENNAN: Booth?
BOOTH: Yep.
BRENNAN: Santa's cohort is inside that
house. These men use explosives. They… they want to destroy the federal
government. Shouldn't we call in backup?
OWEN [on radio]: 60 seconds of rant,
people. Bring it on, bring it down.
BOOTH: We don't have any time. Do you
hear him? 60 seconds or he's going to sign off. I got to keep him distracted.
[BOOTH and BRENNAN exit the van outside
a suburban house with a large aerial on top.]
BOOTH: All right.
BRENNAN: Booth, you're going to pull
down the antenna? That's illegal.
BOOTH: Well, not when I got him for a
Title 97, malicious interference and unlicensed operation. [to driver]
Hey. Phone in our location, okay?
DRIVER: Check.
BOOTH [handing his gun to Brennan]: Here.
Cover me.
BRENNAN: Okay.
OWEN: The banks take our money to line
their pockets. No more! Burn down...
[The antenna falls. Inside the van, the
screen goes blank, indicating the loss of radio signal. Back in the
yard, a tall African-American man exits the house, wearing jeans and
a jacket and looking angry. This is OWEN THIEL, the broadcaster.]
OWEN: Hey!
[BOOTH grabs him and propels him toward
the ground.]
BOOTH: Hey, what? Hey, come on now. That's
it. You have the right to remain silent.
[BOOTH tackles OWEN to the ground and
BRENNAN stands over them, covering BOOTH with his gun.]
OWEN: You're a flunky of a corrupt regime
and it is my duty to resist you.
BRENNAN: Well, I should warn you, he…
he's very hard to resist.
BOOTH [pleased]: Thanks, Bones.
BRENNAN: Sure.
BOOTH: Easy!
[CUT.]
-
[INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. BOOTH and
OWEN are sitting at a table. BOOTH holds up a pen.]
OWEN: What's this?
BOOTH: Says you waive your right to a
lawyer.
OWEN [signing]: I know my rights better
than any lawyer who’s a pawn in the system. I’m fully aware that's
there's nothing illegal about my broadcasts. Freedom of speech.
BOOTH: You were in the military, right?
You're trained in explosives.
OWEN: So what? Explosives and ordnances
are part of Basic Training.
BOOTH: I don't think that they meant
for you to use your Basic Training experience to, uh, rob banks.
OWEN: You know what? You got the wrong
guy. All I do is broadcast my show, go to meetings, hand out pamphlets.
BOOTH: Just before he blew up, the robber
said that, uh, he answered "the call."
OWEN: My call? From the radio? Look,
some nut listens to me, goes crazy, I'm not responsible. I never told
anybody to break the law.
BOOTH: Right. Because you know what?
Your little pirate radio frequency set off the bomb right before the
robber was about to get arrested.
OWEN: Must have been a coincidence.
BOOTH: Just a coincidence? You should
just keep saying that to yourself over and over again, so you can actually
believe it.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: DINER. MAX and BRENNAN are sitting
with a woman BRENNAN’s age, drinking coffee. She has brown hair and
is dressed conservatively. This is BRENNAN’s second cousin, MARGARET
WHITESELL (played by Zooey Deschanel) and hereafter referred to as MARGARET.]
MAX: This is fun. Isn't it fun to meet
a new relative, girls?
BRENNAN: So, you're my cousin, Margaret?
MARGARET: My mother was your mother's
cousin, according to Uncle Max.
MAX: It's an uncanny resemblance. You're
practically sisters.
BRENNAN: Why… why aren't you home for
Christmas?
MARGARET: This time of year, I prefer
to be in Philadelphia, away from my family and all those kids.
BRENNAN: You don't have children?
MARGARET [quotation marks indicate quotes
of Benjamin Franklin]: "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage,
and half-shut afterward." I never got to the half-shut part. What's
your excuse?
BRENNAN: For not being married? I don't
have an excuse. I just have very good reasons.
MARGARET [thumbing through book of quotes]:
Like what?
BRENNAN: I think that marriage is something
you need to have a reason to enter into. I never found that reason.
MARGARET: Mmm. I totally agree. "Experience
keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other."
MAX: You see, Margaret is a big fan of
Benjamin Franklin.
MARGARET: Yes. He was the smartest man
who ever lived. His advice has... never failed me.
BRENNAN: Actually, the person with the
highest recorded IQ is Marilyn vos Savant.
MARGARET: Ooh. "Tim was so learned
that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought
a cow to ride on."
BRENNAN [to Max]: I don't think this
is going to work.
MAX: Listen, family reunions are always
awkward.
BRENNAN [to Margaret]: Well, do you think
this is going well?
MARGARET: Not really. You seem like a
bit of a know-it-all.
BRENNAN: Nice to meet you, but I'm going
to El Salvador for Christmas. You both are welcome to use my place over
the holidays.
MARGARET: "He that won't be counseled
can't be helped."
[BRENNAN exits.]
MAX: I told you to keep to Ben's scientific
stuff.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: ANGELA’S OFFICE. DAISY has completed
the skull she was working on before and ANGELA is waiting for it.]
DAISY
All righty. Here's your head. Dr. Brennan
and Agent Booth are kind of in a hurry to ID him.
[ANGELA plays MUSIC: “Snowfall” by
Ingrid Michaelson.]
ANGELA: No problem, Daisy. I have no
intention of letting Santa ruin Christmas.
DAISY: Were you aware of the fact that
Jesus was really born in March?
ANGELA: I don't care.
DAISY: That Rudolph would have to be
a girl, because male reindeer drop their antlers in winter.
[ANGELA turns music up.]
DAISY: Okay. I'll be right back.
[DAISY exits. MUSIC continues over a
montage as ANGELA works to recreate the face from the skull. She completes
the face.]
[DAISY enters.]
ANGELA: Okay, here he is. The guy who
bombed Christmas. Can you hand me my sketch pad, so I can get him to
the media?
[CUT.]
-
[INT: CAM’S OFFICE. She is working
at a computer and surrounded by Christmas paraphernalia. MICHELLE enters.]
MICHELLE: Hey.
CAM: Hey, I was just thinking of you.
MICHELLE [looking at Christmas stuff]:
Oh, my God, what did you buy?
CAM: Gingerbread house, talking reindeer,
peppermint bark... I went a little crazy. I know how much your dad loved
Christmas.
MICHELLE: You didn't get my present,
did you?
CAM: Still working on that.
MICHELLE: Good. 'Cause I know what I
want... Hawaii. The Big Island.
CAM: That would be hard to wrap.
MICHELLE: No, I want to go there for
Christmas. Please don't say no, Cam. Please.
CAM: That sounds fantastic, but I only
have a couple days off.
MICHELLE: Not with you. With Paris's
family. Her mom and dad invited me.
CAM [faltering]: They did?
MICHELLE [excitedly]: I know it's totally
last minute, but I found a cheap flight, and the hotel is covered, and
all I have to do is pack shorts and bathing suits.
CAM: You... really... thought this through.
MICHELLE: If I stay, it's just the two
of us, and that's depressing.
CAM: You really want to go? It's that
important to you?
MICHELLE: It's important to me. And this
way you can do what you usually do at Christmas instead of worrying
about me.
CAM: Oh, you're not a worry. You... [Michelle
sighs and pouts] If that's what you want, then of course you can go.
MICHELLE: Thank you!
[They hug.]
[HODGINS enters.]
HODGINS: Hey, Michelle.
MICHELLE: Hi, Dr. Hodgins.
HODGINS: Mind if I steal her away?
MICHELLE: She's all yours.
[CAM sighs, her smile falling as MICHELLE
exits.]
[CUT.]
-
[INT: JEFFERSONIAN BONE ROOM. HODGINS
and CAM enter. DAISY is working with the bones. A large computer is
stationed at the head of the bone table, which HODGINS refers to.]
HODGINS: We ran the explosive residue.
It's predominantly ammonium nitrate. Also fuel oil, naptha, detergent
and antimony sulfide.
CAM: Any of that unique enough to pinpoint
our bomb maker?
HODGINS: Not even close.
CAM: Sweets says the pirate radio guy
doesn't fit the profile. He's an extrovert, and we're looking for a
lock-yourself-in-the-basement type of fellow.
HODGINS: All right. So, all we know so
far is that the detonation pressure was about half a million pounds
per square inch.
DAISY: Which is consistent with the skeletal
damage. You can see blow out to the back, as well as curvature and divoting...
all going in one direction, to the rear.
CAM: So the explosive was confined to
the front of the vest.
HODGINS: Until we find the rest of the
manubrium, it's going to be pretty tough to figure out specifics.
CAM: The manubrium doesn't just get up
and walk away. Unless... [remembering] the bomber's own bones became
shrapnel.
HODGINS: We checked the scene of the
explosion, but we didn't check the cab driver, who took the biggest
hit. I'll call the hospital.
[HODGINS exits.]
[CUT.]
-
[INT: FOUNDING FATHERS. BOOTH and BRENNAN
are sipping drinks.]
BOOTH: So, I've decided to take you up
on your offer.
[MUSIC: “Jingle Bells” on piano somewhere
in the bar.]
BRENNAN: What offer?
BOOTH: Uh, you inviting me to your house
for Christmas dinner? … You forgot you invited me.
BRENNAN: No, it's just... No! My dad
brought by my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.
BOOTH: Well, that makes sense.
BRENNAN: Why do you say that?
BOOTH: Well, because she's family. I
mean, 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the
difference between family and friends.
BRENNAN: She's unapologetically dogmatic.
She lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.
BOOTH: Maybe she feels the same way about
you and your mania for logic.
BRENNAN: Mania?
BOOTH: Okay, enthusiasm. Look, if you
ditch this opportunity because a family member annoys you, it just...
it just goes with the family territory.
BRENNAN: Hmm. That's true; you and Jared
can barely be in the same room together.
BOOTH: Well, he's a whole other kettle
of fish. I'll tell you that. He's just annoying.
[BOOTH’s phone rings.]
BOOTH [into phone]: Booth. Uh, okay.
BOOTH [to Brennan, still on phone]: Um,
somebody saw Angela's sketch on the TV. Says it looks like her son.
Name of Holden Chevaleer. [into phone] Great. Thanks.
[He hangs up.]
BOOTH: Get this. Our bomber was an exterminator.
BRENNAN: Well, that makes sense. Exterminators
use orange oil. And Hodgins said the bomb contained naptha. Exterminators
use naptha to kill bed bugs.
[CUT.]
-
[Night becomes day. INT: BOOTH’S OFFICE.
BOOTH is at his desk and BRENNAN stands to the side. A middle-aged WOMAN
is sitting across from BOOTH. This is ABBY CHEVALEER (played by Wendy
Phillips) and hereafter referred to as ABBY.]
ABBY: That picture on the news. It's
my son, isn't it?
[She hands a photograph to BOOTH. The
photo shows a man wearing a red and white plaid shirt and smiling at
the camera. This is her son HOLDEN CHEVALEER, a.k.a. SANTA CLAUS.]
BOOTH: Yes, ma'am.
ABBY: They didn't say why they were showing
it, just that they wanted information. Why?
BOOTH: Well, we believe that your son
was involved in a robbery at, uh, Capital Mutual Bank. Your son - did
he ever use explosives, Mrs. Chevaleer?
ABBY: No, of course not. Holden wouldn't
hurt a fly.
BRENNAN: Well, he's an exterminator.
By definition, he hurts flies.
BOOTH: That's not what she meant, Bones.
ABBY: Holden is a good boy. We have dinner
together almost every night. There's just the two of us, you understand.
BOOTH: Any friends?
ABBY: He's very shy. He's much happier
working on his projects in the garage.
BRENNAN: What… what kind of projects?
ABBY: I don't really know. I like to
give him his privacy.
BOOTH: He have any financial troubles?
ABBY: Everybody does. He tried to get
a loan, but the bank wouldn't give him one.
BRENNAN: That must have made him very
angry.
ABBY: Well, he isn't perfect. But I know
my son. And if there has been any kind of trouble, it is not his fault.
Just let me talk to him. He'll tell you, I know he will.
BOOTH [gently]: I'm afraid that's not
going to be possible.
[ABBY’s face falls and she becomes
tearful.]
ABBY: Please. You just tell me what's
happened to my son.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: FBI CONFERENCE ROOM. We see CAM
on a video link. She is in her office.]
CAM [on screen]: These just came through
from the hospital. Pre-op photos of the cab driver and his x-rays.
[We see photos of the cabdriver before
zooming out to show BOOTH and BRENNAN in a conference room and looking
at a large screen.]
BRENNAN: Severe trauma primarily to the
proximal phalanges and metacarpals. Pitting and multiple fractures to
the palmar side.
CAM [in person]: He was probably trying
to shield his face from the explosion. We think the fragment in his
zygomatic arch may be the missing manubrium fragment.
BRENNAN: There. Did the hospital deliver
the bone shrapnel fragments?
CAM [in person]: Ms. Wick's working on
it now. We're hoping they'll give us a better sense of the bomb.
BRENNAN: We need Angela to recreate the
explosion.
CAM [on screen]: As soon as Hodgins figures
out the bomb.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: LAB PLATFORM. DAISY is leaning
over the bone table and HODGINS is standing behind her in a “hurry
up” manner.]
DAISY: It's very difficult to work when
someone is looking over your shoulder.
HODGINS: It's even more difficult to
work when you have nothing to work on. Snap it up.
DAISY: This is it. The missing manubrium.
Three parallel burns about two millimeters apart.
HODGINS: Ooh, I think we got our initiator.
The bomb maker used the base of a small light bulb. Battery on one end,
explosives on the other. I'm going to run this through the EXIS database.
[He begins to exit,]
DAISY: Oh, one more thing.
[HODGINS stills.]
DAISY: I found this in Santa's 12th rib.
HODGINS: I'm never going to make my flight.
DAISY: I recommend celebrating in March.
HODGINS: Thank you… Ebenezer.
[He exits.]
[CUT.]
-
[INT: BRENNAN’S APARTMENT. MARGARET
is sitting on BRENNAN’s couch. BRENNAN sits in an armchair opposite
her. They both hold mugs.]
MARGARET: You're not going to El Salvador
for Christmas?
BRENNAN: Mm-hmm.
MARGARET: You don't strike me as someone
who's flexible about their schedule.
BRENNAN: Well, I took advice from someone
who knows more about families than I do.
MARGARET: "He that raises a large
family does stand a broader mark for sorrow, but then, stands a broader
mark for pleasure as well."
[There is a knock at the door.]
BRENNAN [standing]: Well, that's sort
of what he said, but without the pleasure part.
[She opens the door, revealing BOOTH
on the other side.]
BRENNAN [surprised]: Booth.
BOOTH [entering and not noticing Margaret]:
Yeah, so an explosives unit checked out Holden Chevaleer's garage...
there was nothing. And, uh, this guy's name doesn't even pop up in the
system.
BRENNAN: Th-That's very interesting,
but I...
BOOTH: Which just confirms that we have
to find his accomplice. Nice tree. Oh, wow, who is this, your sister?
BRENNAN: No, uh... my second cousin.
MARGARET: I'm Margaret.
BRENNAN: There's no resemblance.
BOOTH: What do you mean? You're both
very beautiful.
MARGARET: "Beauty and folly are
old companions."
BRENNAN: Told you... Benjamin Franklin.
BOOTH: Right, right. Hey, hey! Good old
Ben, you know, he invented electricity and the hundred dollar bill.
MARGARET: Neither one of those things
is true.
BOOTH [to Brennan]: You're right, there's
no resemblance whatsoever. Nice meeting you, Maggie.
BRENNAN: Bye, Booth.
BOOTH: See ya.
BRENNAN: Uh, that's my partner. He's
FBI.
MARGARET: His eyes are too small to be
really handsome.
BRENNAN: Well, I have to admit, I...
find him pleasing to look at.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: FBI HOOVER BUILDING. BOOTH steps
out of elevators, seeing OWEN waiting for him. He strides down the hall
and OWEN follow him.]
OWEN: Agent Booth.
BOOTH: I'm busy.
OWEN: Look, what you were saying about
my broadcast blowing that guy up... I was hoping you could put me in
contact with his mother.
BOOTH: Stay away from her.
OWEN: It was a coincidence. No way I
could have known in a million years, but still...
BOOTH: If you don't feel responsible,
then why do you want to talk to this victim's mother?
[They arrive at BOOTH’s office and
enter.]
OWEN: Hey, I was Army, man. Just like
you. I served my country.
BOOTH: You don't even remember what this
country stands for.
OWEN: Maybe it's you who forgot.
BOOTH: Sorry?
OWEN: Freedom of speech. I have the right
to be heard.
BOOTH: Legally, yeah. Maybe you should
think about saying something worth hearing.
OWEN: Look, it wasn't my fault.
BOOTH: You spew that poison out in the
airwaves... this happened, you know it. [to other agent in area outside
office] Agent, show him out.
OTHER AGENT [removing Owen from office]
Sir. Let's go.
[BOOTH is still in his office. He removes
his jacket as a video link with the Jeffersonian opens. HODGINS and
CAM are onscreen.]
CAM: We ran the details of the bomb against the EXIS database. It's an identical match for a number of devices all built by the same man.
HODGINS: A guy named Malaki Wallace. [wallace’s details appear onscreen.]
CAM: He got busted in the '90s for robbing
a Western Union office.
HODGINS: And using an emulsion bomb with
a light bulb initiator.
BOOTH: Okay, anything more current?
CAM [in person]: No. He's been dormant
since he got out of prison.
BOOTH [onscreen]: Prison?
CAM: Yeah. And it looks like he came
back with a bang.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. An unkempt
middle-aged man is sitting across from BOOTH. This is MALAKI WALLACE
(played by Jack Kehler), hereafter referred to as WALLACE.]
WALLACE: You're not listening. I been
out of the bombing game for years.
BOOTH: Really?
WALLACE: Really.
BOOTH: Yeah, so how do you explain this?
WALLACE: Well, I'm always happy to consult.
That is a simple incendiary device. Very rudimentary.
BOOTH: Right.
[BOOTH throws it toward the observation
room, containing SWEETS. SWEETS remains in the room for the entire scene
and we cut to the observation room for all of his lines. BOOTH can hear
SWEETS through an earpiece.]
SWEETS: Whoa! Was that strictly necessary?
BOOTH: See, explosives unit, they found
that in your apartment there, Malaki.
WALLACE: So? I'm a fidgeter.
SWEETS: Bomb making is a compulsive activity,
much like arson.
WALLACE: The problem is just about anything
will fidget itself into a bomb given half a chance and readily available
household products.
BOOTH: Like something like this?
[He stands and begins swinging another
device, on a string.]
WALLACE: Okay, okay.
SWEETS [nervously]: What is that, Booth?
WALLACE: Now, what do you want?
BOOTH: Where've you been for the past
48 hours?
WALLACE: Pushing plungers.
BOOTH: Demolition?
WALLACE: I'm an apartment super. Sewer
line backed up and I spent Monday and Tuesday unclogging the toilets.
I got 35 witnesses. The tenants all had to share one Porta Potti.
BOOTH: It's not that easy, pal. See,
we have a device with your name written all over it. Naptha, limonene,
light bulbs, whole deal, pal.
SWEETS: These guys consider themselves
artists, Booth. Teachers.
BOOTH [to Wallace]: Well, maybe you,
uh, you have a protégé. Someone you passed the torch to?
WALLACE: Well, if someone built one of
my devices, they probably just got the recipe off my Web site.
BOOTH: You have a mad bomber Web site?
WALLACE: What can I say? Uh, I got fans.
BOOTH: And these fans... they subscribe?
WALLACE: E-mails and passwords and correspondence,
you name it.
BOOTH: Right.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: JEFFERSONIAN BONE ROOM. DAISY and
BRENNAN are regarding the remains.]
DAISY: I found this in the area of the
right articular capsule. It's a puncture mark, like you would get from
a deep needle jab.
BRENNAN: Well, perhaps it's where the
bomber injected himself with propranolol. Although it's unlikely someone
would inject themselves deep enough to strike bone.
DAISY: Exactly. So I reviewed the X rays
of the right scapula and hand. Look at the extensor facet of the glenoid
cavity, and the bilateral asymmetry of the second metacarpal.
BRENNAN: Indicative of pronounced right-handedness.
He couldn't have injected himself in the right arm.
[HODGINS enters.]
HODGINS: Dr. B? I ID'd the fragment of
wire we got out of his rib. Booth's gonna want to hear this.
[BRENNAN begins to exit.]
[CUT.]
-
[INT: BOOTH’S OFFICE. BOOTH is on the
phone with the Jeffersonian. He remains in his office for the duration
of the call and we cut back and forth to him.]
BOOTH: All right, so someone else injected
Santa with the propranolol.
[We cut to BRENNAN’S OFFICE, where
BRENNAN and HODGINS have BOOTH on speakerphone.]
BRENNAN: Evidently.
HODGINS: And the wire in his rib was
triple-heat-treated boron/manganese steel.
BOOTH: Is that what they used to wire
the tubes of the explosives together?
HODGINS: No, it's a patented form of
steel used exclusively in high-end bike locks. It wasn't part of the
bomb.
BRENNAN: It was what locked Holden
Chevaleer into the bomb. Someone locked him into the vest, dressed him
like Santa and then forced him to rob the bank.
BOOTH: Wait a sec. Patsy. That's why
he said what he said. "I just answered the call." The guy's
an exterminator, Bones. He meant "the call" literally.
BRENNAN: He answered a service call.
BOOTH: Only his customer locked him into
a bomb and made him rob a bank. This is not good.
BRENNAN: Why?
BOOTH: Why? Because whoever strapped
Holden into the bomb didn't get what they wanted. What if they try again?
[CUT.]
-
[INT: JEFFERSONIAN MEDICO-LEGAL LAB.
ANGELA and CAM are walking.]
ANGELA: Oh, you looked peeved.
CAM: I went to wash my hands just now,
but there was no soap in the dispenser. It had to be...
[They arrive at HODGINS’S OFFICE and
enter.]
CAM: Hodgins.
HODGINS: Hey.
[HODGINS is wearing a bomb-type contraption
similar to that of HOLDEN in an effort to gather information.]
HODGINS: Uh, you look irked.
CAM [staring in horror at Hodgins, with
her mouth open and attempting to speak]: …
ANGELA [translating]: She's mad about
the soap.
CAM: Your analysis of the emulsion bomb
included detergent.
ANGELA: You didn't actually get permission
to recreate the bomb, did you?
CAM [in shock]: Oh, my God.
HODGINS: I needed to do this so that
Angela could recreate the explosion.
CAM: You told him that?
ANGELA: No, no, don't let him turn this
around on me.
CAM: I do not want an explosive device
in my lab.
HODGINS: Relax, I did not connect the
initiator...
[He moves to do something with pliers.]
CAM: No!
HODGINS [patiently]: It is perfectly
safe.
[There is a pause as CAM studies his
hands suspiciously.]
CAM: What's that?
HODGINS: It's antimony sulfide. It's
fine on its own. It's perfectly harmless. The bomber used it in the
detonating charge.
ANGELA [fondly]: Hodgins is very authentic
when it comes to his reconstructions.
CAM: We have to pull the evidence trays.
[She exits hurriedly as ANGELA and HODGINS
stare after her, puzzled.]
[CUT to LAB PLATFORM, where ANGELA, HODGINS
and CAM are unloading and sorting through the evidence trays.]
ANGELA: Give me a clue here, guys. What
are we looking for?
CAM: It's H11209, biological evidence
from witness Georgia Hartmeyer.
HODGINS: Oh, got it. It's her fingernail.
[He opens a container.]
CAM: I thought it was just blast residue,
but that stain's definitely on the inside.
[The container holds a fingernail clipping.
HODGINS wipes the inside of the fingernail with a Q-tip and licks the
Q-tip as ANGELA and CAM watch disgustedly.]
CAM: Did you have to do that?
HODGINS: It's metallic and sweet. That
is definitely antimony sulfide.
CAM: And it couldn't have gotten there
unless she helped assemble the bomb.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: FBI INTERROGATION ROOM. GEORGIA
is waiting impatiently.]
[BOOTH and BRENNAN enter.]
BOOTH: Okay, Ms. Hartmeyer, we just have
a couple follow-up questions, that's all.
[They sit.]
BRENNAN: Like… what were you doing
outside the bank... for instance?
GEORGIA: I told you, waiting for the
bus.
BOOTH: I checked. You live on the other
side of town.
GEORGIA: I take the bus to work.
BOOTH: You were fired three months ago.
GEORGIA: I like to shop in that area,
okay?
BRENNAN: That is very interesting,
because we checked your credit cards and you've never made a purchase
anywhere near Capital Mutual Bank.
BOOTH: Gotcha.
GEORGIA: You got nothing. I didn't blow
him up. I swear I didn't blow him up.
[CUT.]
-
[INT: ANGELA’S OFFICE. ANGELA and BRENNAN
stand in front of ANGELA’s display screen.]
ANGELA: So, I recreated the scene outside
the bank.
[We see the image of a generic man who
is wearing a red belt buckle with a rooster on it.]
BRENNAN: Oh, that's Booth, with the Cocky
belt.
ANGELA: Yeah, and this is the cab driver
and Georgia Hartmeyer. [She indicates other generic figures.] Now, I
factored in everything we know about the bomb's velocity and direction...
including the positions of Booth, Georgia and the cab driver prior to
the blast. Okay, here we go.
[She plays the recreation. We see the
illustrated ‘SANTA’ enter the street and then the blast, followed
by simultaneous split-screen illustrations of the reactions of BOOTH,
GEORGIA, the CABDRIVER and the place where SANTA blew up.]
ANGELA: You see the problem?
BRENNAN: The cab driver covered his face
with his hands; we know that from his injuries. But given his proximity,
he wouldn't have had the time.
ANGELA: Yeah. Now, I can adjust his reaction
times, but even when I go superhuman... and I'm talking, like, Maverick
and Iceman reaction times... look at where the bone shrapnel lands.
[She demonstrates these other possibilities,
with the shrapnel landing in improbable locations.]
BRENNAN: The only explanation is that
he was reacting not to the explosion but to the sound of the radio.
ANGELA: Yeah. Now check out the FCC's
frequency allocation chart.
[An image of said chart appears onscreen.]
ANGELA: Now, Owen Thiel broadcast his
pirate radio signal at 27.4 megahertz. Which is right next to 27.41
megahertz, which is the land mobile frequency this cab driver used.
BRENNAN: So Georgia and the cab driver
must have locked Holden into the bomb vest. They waited outside of the
bank. If Holden didn't do what they asked, the cab driver could detonate
him with the cab radio.
ANGELA: Yeah, only Owen Thiel beat him
to it.
BRENNAN: I'll have Booth look for the
cab driver's name on Malaki's Web site subscriber list.
[She pulls out a phone and conveys the
information to BOOTH.]
ANGELA: You know, all those jokes that
I made about Santa ruining Christmas, I suck.
BRENNAN: Well, at the time you made those
jokes, you weren't aware that Holden was a patsy.
ANGELA: You don't think that sometimes
we forget those bones out there are people?
[CUT.]
-
[INT: BOOTH’S SUV. BOOTH and BRENNAN
are in the car.]
BOOTH: Georgia and the cab driver, they
flipped on each other the second I got them into interrogation. Apparently
they found each other at a debt counseling seminar, of all things.
BRENNAN: Well, how did they pick Holden?
BOOTH: The phone book. They called, and
as soon as he showed up, they jumped him. Told him if he did what they
wanted, they would set him free.
BRENNAN [sadly]: Sometimes people are
terrible.
BOOTH: Yeah, I know.
BRENNAN: Cam says that the victim's mother
is burying him on Christmas morning.
BOOTH: I heard that.
BRENNAN: It was just him and his mom,
right?
BOOTH: Yeah, guy worked alone. He never
had time for any friends.
[BRENNAN nods thoughtfully.]
BOOTH: What's wrong?
BRENNAN: Max told me that being alone
at Christmas means that nobody loves you. She's burying her son. Alone.
On Christmas. I think that's heartbreaking.
BOOTH: You know, when I say "heartbreaking,"
you say that the heart is a muscle so it... it can't break, it can only
get crushed.
BRENNAN [choked up]: Isn't it heart-crushing?
BOOTH: You want to go to his funeral?
BRENNAN: Yes. I would. Then... she won't
be alone.
BOOTH: You know what, Bones? Sometimes
I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.
[He smiles at her. She exhales shakily.]
[CUT.]
-
[INT: CAM’S CAR, night. She and MICHELLE
are presumably on the way to the airport.]
MICHELLE: You're being quiet. I promise
to text 85 times a day. [Cam pulls over.] Why are you stopping?
CAM: I don't want you to go to Hawaii.
MICHELLE [angrily]: You're changing your
mind?
CAM: You and me... we're the closest
thing we have to family.
MICHELLE: You can't just change your
mind.
CAM: And family spends Christmas together.
We're spending Christmas together.
MICHELLE: You're serious?!
CAM: If I let you go, you're gonna have
a good time...
MICHELLE: What's wrong with that?!
CAM: Everything. Because that's what
we'll be to each other, just two people who don't spend Christmas together.
MICHELLE: So you want to be two people
who spend Christmas together but one of them is really, really mad?
CAM: I know deep down you care. …I
just hope not too deep down.
MICHELLE: Can we at least talk about
this?
CAM: No. It's my job to prove to you
every day that you are loved in this world. And if doing that makes
you angry...
MICHELLE: It makes me furious!
CAM: Well, then that's the price I pay.
But you will know beyond a doubt that I can't just let you go flying
off and not have it absolutely ruin my Christmas. Because right now,
the way things are, there's... no Christmas without you.
[There is a long pause. Michelle looks
over and away. Cam looks at her and then away. Finally they look at
each other. Michelle leans over and hugs Cam.]
MICHELLE: I love you, too.
[Cam smiles. Michelle smiles back.]
[CUT.]
-
[EXT: OWEN’S HOUSE. We watch through
the window as OWEN THIEL is at his desk. He begins a broadcast. The
mood is somber and his tone is pensive and remorseful.]
[MUSIC: “Star of Wonder” by Matt
Alber.]
OWEN: A man died this week. By all accounts,
he was a good man. Loved his mother, worked hard, shouldered his responsibilities.
He was a man that any one of us would be proud to call "friend."
[MUSIC continues OWEN’s broadcast plays
over the next scenes.]
[EXT: GRAVEYARD. ABBY is standing alone
at HOLDEN’s grave. There is a coffin resting on a green mat on the
snowy ground. A priest-type man is standing at the head of the coffin.]
OWEN [offscreen V.O.]: I killed him.
With this microphone. I killed him by going on these airwaves and sharing
my rage with you. Spreading my rage.
[The camera pulls back to reveal BOOTH
and BRENNAN slowly coming to stand behind ABBY. They proffer a wreath
and she smiles sadly. BOOTH lays the wreath on the coffin.]
OWEN [V.O.]: Now, you can say that it
wasn't my fault, that it was a coincidence. I thought about that. Thought
about it a lot. But the fact is...
[BOOTH crosses himself, and he and BRENNAN
lower their heads.]
OWEN [V.O.]: The fact is, if it weren't
for me, he might still be alive. I'm so sorry for that.
[BRENNAN watches BOOTH and then looks
toward ABBY. Once again we return to an above shot and six other figures
are walking toward the grave.]
OWEN [V.O.]: And I remembered something
that I forgot over the last few years: that God is not only a god of
anger and vengeance.
[BOOTH and BRENNAN hear crunching footsteps
and look at each other in surprise, then behind them. Standing a respectful
distance back are ANGELA, HODGINS, CAM, MICHELLE, SWEETS and DAISY,
all dressed in funeral attire and looking somber.]
OWEN [V.O.]: Now, my religious beliefs
tell me that Christ did not die in vain.
[ABBY looks back and sees the other attendees.
She is still tearful but looks grateful also.]
OWEN [V.O.]: That He died to redeem us
all.
[Another aerial shot of the group of
eight at the graveside as the service begins.]
OWEN [V.O.]: And I intend to show that
this good, simple man also did not die in vain.
[Now we return to OWEN through his window.
We see him sitting at a desk and leaning toward a microphone.]
OWEN: That he redeemed one angry, shouting
man. So these are the last words I will ever broadcast. And I hope they're
the words you remember best.
[There is a long pause.]
OWEN: Peace on Earth.
[He finishes the broadcast and removes
the headphones.]
[We see a series of large, decorated,
lit-up Christmas trees next to a variety of D.C. landmarks before an
exterior of BRENNAN’s apartment.]
[INT: BRENNAN’S APARTMENT. It is festively
decorated, and CAM, MICHELLE, SWEETS, DAISY, ANGELA, HODGINS, BOOTH,
BRENNAN and also MAX and MARGARET are present.]
[MUSIC: “O Christmas Tree”.]
CAM [to Sweets and Daisy]: What happened
to the "down with Christmas, let's hump like bunnies" thing?
SWEETS: I'm not here for baby Jesus;
I'm here for Agent Booth.
CAM: Ah, that explains the antlers.
SWEETS: It was a moment of whimsy.
MICHELLE: They look good on you, Dr.
Sweets.
SWEETS: Thank you.
[Elsewhere in the apartment: Angela walks
toward Hodgins.]
ANGELA and HODGINS: Hey.
[HODGINS hands her a cup.]
ANGELA: Thanks. So you think that we
should feel like big, giant losers that we're not spending Christmas
with family?
HODGINS: There's more than one kind of
family.
ANGELA: Merry Christmas, Hodgins.
HODGINS: Merry Christmas, Angela.
[ KITCHEN: BOOTH, MARGARET and BRENNAN
are preparing food items.]
BOOTH [to Margaret]: Hey. That's too
much salt there, that's too much salt.
[He exits to DINING ROOM]
MARGARET: "He that would fish must
venture his bait."
BOOTH [from dining room]: Bones, when
are we gonna eat? I'm starving.
BRENNAN: Well, right now. [to Margaret]
If Booth wants to fish, he'll fish. What on earth are you trying to
say?
MAX [who has been offscreen]: Honey,
families always give unwanted advice.
BRENNAN: Unwanted advice? You… you
have to stop quoting Benjamin Franklin at me.
[She is carrying something to the table.
Margaret picks up something and follows.]
MARGARET: Why?
BRENNAN: Well, I have no evidence of
this, but I feel that every time you do that, it's not actually communication.
I feel the same way when people tell jokes.
MARGARET [thoughtfully]: Hmm. I never
thought of it that way.
BRENNAN: I'd rather hear what you have
to say than Benjamin Franklin.
MARGARET: That's the nicest thing anyone's
ever said to me.
[Everyone has been coming to the table
and they are now all seated expectantly.]
MAX: Tempe. This is your gathering. Wouldn't
you like to say something?
BRENNAN: Oh, um... [standing] Thank you,
everyone, for coming. Let's eat. [she sits]
MAX: No. I-I mean, would you like to
say something about Christmas?
BRENNAN: Okay. [standing] Um, Christmas
has its roots in the pagan festival of Saturnalia, which is traditionally
celebrated by intoxication, naked singing and the consumption of human-shaped
biscuits.
BOOTH [standing hurriedly]: I think what
Bones is trying to say here is that we're all just happy that we are
all together.
BRENNAN: Well, we're all together every
day.
MARGARET: Not me. No, I'm not here every
day.
MAX [to Margaret]: Well, it's a different
kind of together.
BOOTH [toasting]: To family... friends...
lovers... family... and food.
BRENNAN: You said "family"
twice. It's repetitious.
BOOTH: It's a good toast, though. Cheers.
Okay?
BRENNAN: Cheers.
ALL OVERLAPPING: Cheers, Merry Christmas.
BOOTH [as he and Brennan sit]: All right.
MARGARET: What do we do now?
BOOTH: Ah, let's say a prayer.
BRENNAN: No, no prayer, not in my place.
BOOTH: Bones, I always pray.
BRENNAN: Maybe just a moment of silence.
BOOTH: Hold hands.
[ALL hold hands.]
BOOTH: Silent night.
[The camera pulls back through the window.
We see the gathering around the table holding hands.]
[THE END.]